So Cliché

I feel so cliché. I am the single mother who has no backups, no child care and who is currently trying to find someone to watch Esmé so I can go to work. I never thought I would be that person, but here I am.

Luckily I have a wonderfully understanding boss and likely I am overreacting about working from home for a few days. It’s probably not that big of a deal, but it feels like a bad Lifetime movie.

I shelled out the initiation fee (equivalent of 5 weeks nanny salary) to a nanny agency today. I was sent 4 applicants–well, three actually if you don’t count the one part time person who could only work mornings that was sent to me by mistake. Out of the three, two looked promising, but I called all three today. One I have scheduled to interview in person tomorrow evening, and the other two I left voice mails for. Coincidentally one of them I had started emailing with about a week ago. She responded to a post I placed on an online nanny finder board that includes background checks. So, really in all, only two new referrals for my 5 weeks nanny salary. I learned I am in this weird bracket where most of these nanny’s can make more watching 2 children and so, I have to pay the higher salary even though I have one, to secure someone decent since the demand is there.

One of the potential hires I called was flying kites with her current charges. I thought that was nice. It seemed very Merry Poppins anyways.

As you can tell the nanny share opportunity I was considering isn’t going to work out. Aside from the child rearing philosophies that don’t mesh with mine; they’re Barney people, and I don’t think she’ll be able to handle Esmé plus one. Now, I have nothing really against Barney-ok, maybe I do-but I am a no/only on rare occasions television household, and they, well, put Barney on for most of the morning to occupy the time of the little ones. Esmé is so alert and curious, feeding her mind and creativity on television for many hours at a time at her age seems like such a waste. And Esmé is “spirited” as the potential nanny mentioned yesterday when we went to visit. And, the potential nanny is a “cry it out” firm believer. And I cried the whole way home thinking I would have to put Esmé there having her cry for most of the day after being tossed in a crib without being held. And they kept the windows open without screens allowing flies to roam the house. One landed on Esme’s head and I knew this was not the place for us.

This morning I went to a small family day care recommended to me in my area. I thought I might as well go since it seems like everyone I speak to now has their kids in a family day care to “socialize” them, but give them a home-like atmosphere. I’ve been to a few of them when I was originally looking while on maternity leave, and they make me so sad. The kids all remind me of the orphanages I went to in Africa. Maybe that’s a bit extreme, but there was the little Asian girl who’s hair was messed up and falling out of her barrettes, and the older blond girl who looked at me suspiciously and tried to take care of the little ones. There was the boy who played by himself in the corner with his truck sucking his thumb. There was the room with the cribs all lined up on top of each other, and the kitchen with the high chairs all lined up. I wondered who told these children they were special.

Like I said, so cliché.

I haven’t been watching my sugars lately. I’ve been bad about it, and even bought some strawberry banana juice which was delivered with my groceries today. I was warned that stress would raise my glucose level and sure enough I feel jittery and just took my blood sample. 184. Darn.

But really now, all in all I could be forced to wear one of those pepto-bismol pink bridesmaid dresses with the huge bow right, well, you can see for yourself in the photo I grabbed on Stanford campus over the weekend (click on the photo to enlarge and click again to supersize it). I suppose like most of life, it could be worse.

Adventures in Nanny Slaying… par deux

I don’t know whether to be positively pessimistic or negatively optimistic, and the sum of them brings me to where I am today.

I’m working from home today after it has now been over a week since I came home to find Esme not there.  During the course of 2 hours I waited to find out where she went unable to reach the nanny on the phone and considering the possibilities and moments before calling the police, since the stroller, both car seats (I have 2 extra in our home) were all still there.  When those 2 hours concluded, and Esme and the nanny, and the nanny’s daughter came walking up the steps to my front door. I learned Esme was being shuttled back and forth to my nanny’s home, and having play dates with the nanny’s daughter without my knowing.  It’s disturbing really, and what is even more so, is that instead of using the 2 car seats I have sitting in Esme’s nursery, she used her 4 year old daughter’s booster seat to strap her into the car; facing forward.  That was the worst part for me.  Her safety was compromised for convenience.  And so, I let her go.

It breaks my heart in so many ways, and saddens me that  I couldn’t be there to  protect her.

Coincidentally, my mom and stepfather were planning on coming to town last week, so they were able to watch Esme while I went to work.

Nanny Slaying, part 2

So, I went back to the drawing board, and started interviewing Nanny’s.  For some reason it seems the nanny’s I am now interviewing want more money, which so be it, if I can manage I will.  After 5 interviews, I found a wonderful Chinese nanny who has been with her last family for the last 6 1/2 years.  She has glowing recommendations, and seemed like she would be the perfect fit, and when she agreed I was relieved and thrilled that she would be willing to begin immediately.  That is, until she emailed me Saturday to let me know on top of the closer to 6 figure salary than 4 figure salary I was offering, which also included paid holidays, 2 weeks paid vacation she now wanted 3 weeks paid vacation to take concurrently in the summer so she could travel to China. She wanted time and a half for every minute after 5pm, and she wanted a guaranteed 10% bonus after the first year, and a 10% increase going into the next, and if she didn’t take the vacation, she wanted it to be paid in cash at the end of the year. In other words, the family she was interviewing with in Atherton made her an offer, one which I just can not match.

So no nanny.

I met with a wonderful woman yesterday who is watching a colleagues friend’s 7 month old son up at her home in Los Altos Hills, and am meeting with them again this afternoon.  If this works out, doing a nanny share would save me enough for 3 years of education for Esme over the course of the next year.  Still, I am torn.  Can one person adequately provide for 2 babies around the same age?  I keep thinking to myself, people have twins and 2, 3, 4 + children all the time and they manage.  The other downside is that I will have to drive up and into Los Altos Hills every day which would add 15 mins to my commute–really not a big deal.  And Esme would be “socialized” which according to everyone I talk to is the new buzz word.   Esme is pretty social already, but I guess it never hurts.

Then there is the vast wide array of nanny submissions I have received from the agencies I applied to… and wow, just wow.

I’ll be quick

because it is 1am… I am tired of my new upstairs neighbors. They have been throwing parties that go until 3 and 4am playing the guitar, and loud music and what sounds like dancing around. They’re doing it right now. It wakes Esme up. It wakes me up. I’ll tell my landlords again, and see if maybe a 3rd time will make a difference. And sigh, I sound old.

Here are some photos from today and our tomfoolery. As you can see, Esme is fine from her night in the ER after managing to escape from her crib. The next morning I rebuilt the crib and placed the mattress on the lower level which hopefully will do the trick for a few more months. I can’t believe how handy I’ve gotten. I never built a thing in my life before Esme, but when no one else is around you just build.

In some you can see the new coffee table / leather ottoman. I figured leather would be hard to induce head bangs, and just like magic it happened to arrive the morning after I spent the night in the ER, which was a nice reminder that getting rid of the glass table and spending the money on the new one was well worth it.

I’m trying to get Esme used to sitting in her high chair to eat while I eat. We’re about 3 weeks away from starting solids, so thinking it doesn’t hurt to get her used to the chair. She likes the challenge of the sippy cup, and works really hard to master lifting it to drink. It’s pretty funny, she’ll logically look at the milk and tries to drink it from where she can see it, thus the photo of her drinking the side of the cup.

Then we do the bedtime routine which we’re becoming quite good at… Esme watches the signing DVD while I draw the bath, then bath time, then pajama time, then book time, and then we say goodnight to all the rooms, and then food, then directly to crib. She’ll usually wake up 1 to 2 hours later to check if I’m still around and then as long as I am quiet and don’t speak, it’s a quick snack and back to bed… which reminds me. I should head there myself.

Esme Learns to Fly

No Real Reasons

I have no real reason to write anything specific today.

We have a board meeting at work tomorrow, where all of our hard work will be shared.

Esme is getting quicker scooting across the floor, which is fun to see. She is also getting better about sleeping and going to bed in her crib, despite the pesky new upstairs neighbors who like to vacuum at 9pm to 10 pm every other night. We are continuing to do a 1/2 hour of French each night, and reading at least 10 books a day. Esme likes to listen to the French dialogue and I’d like to be fluent by the end of the year. As for the books, Esme likes to look at the pictures, run her fingers over the words, and then once finished eat the book. Aside from that, not much new to report today. Here are a few photos from this evening:

The Black Swan

Today we went to the Stanford Museum and Rodin Sculpture Garden. We spent the day roaming around the campus looking at sculptures (the last time I saw Rodin was while in Florence, Italy 7 years ago), and then had a late lunch outside the Canton Art Center, where I had the best strawberry lemonade I have ever had in my life. We quickly dashed over to the Stanford Bookstore where I found a book I am now stalking on ebay called The Black Swan.

So the book says, “A black swan is a highly improbable event with three principal characteristics: It is unpredictable; it carries a massive impact; and, after the fact, we concoct an explanation that makes it appear less random, and more predictable, than it was.”

Not exactly sure when I’ll find the time to read this one, but perhaps in the wee hours. Maybe finding time to read the book in an of itself is a black swan.

Enjoy the photos below from the day…

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The word of the Day

The word of the day, or week I should say is “sorry.” It seems I am always saying it these days. “Sorry,” I can’t stay until 6:30pm for that meeting, “Sorry,” I got stuck in the meeting. “Sorry” the business offsite will have to be pushed earlier so I can get home in time for Esme. “Sorry” my flight is delayed. “Sorry” I didn’t have time to reach out before you left. “Sorry” my eyes look so red and you may think I am not listening to you–I am just on 2 hours of sleep. “Sorry” I am 5 minutes late.

You can never underestimate the value of a good nanny. Yesterday, I jumped down to LA for some quick meetings and to attend a conference and my plane which was supposed to arrive back in SF at 8pm suddenly was stuck in Boston and no flights would leave LAX until 11pm. This was quite a predicament. I searched other carriers: United, American Airlines, and none were leaving before midnight. So I waited. My nanny was planning on staying until 8:30pm to watch Esme, but then had to pick up her daughter from her mother’s house, so I called friends, neighbors and no one answered, no one was home, no one. Hmmm… so, low and behold, Esperanza stayed. I finally got home at 1:08am filled with “I’m sorry’s.”

Never underestimate the value of a good nanny. Never.

Esme’s First Trip to NYC

This past week was too busy to write anything. Esmé and I started our Saturday night on a Virgin American red eye flight to JFK which got us into NYC bright an early Sunday morning at 8am. Shortly after arriving we met up with my friend Jessica who traveled up from DC to meet Esme and play in the city with us.

After an uneventful flight, meaning Esmé slept and I did not, and after she learned how to take the personal entertainment remote out of the seat arm rest and play with the touch screen TV we landed. Then it was off to the hotel, and to spend the week in Manhattan.

I forgot how much I love the city, and Esmé seemed to feel right at home. Here’s the weeks abridged version:

Sunday night, Jess and I went out while Godmother Elizabeth and Godmother Mimi watched Esmé. That was actually the first solo non-baby dinner and night out I had since Esmé was born. I forget the name of the restaurant, but it was great and we sat outside in the NYC night air.

The next few days were spent running around the city, getting stuck on subways, meeting with the usual suspects, planning for our press announcement and dinners out with co-workers and partners.

Here are some highlights:

Esmé now is officially crawling, although quite slowly. Point being, she is mobile. She crawled around in circles on the hotel room bed while I was in meetings. Quite exciting and quite frightening. Either way, I’m proud of little Esmé.

Monday night, I had dinner with our CEO and a co-worker down in Chinatown at a little restaurant that you would never find or ever know about unless someone took you there before. It was called Nice Green Bo, or formerly New Green Bo. We ate little pockets of soup, and the food was amazing.

Tuesday night I had dinner down in SoHo at Alta (click on Alta to read about it) with 2 coworkers, some partners, and it was fantastic; absolutely wonderful.

The next night I met up some co-workers at Indochine where we interviewed a potential hire (and watched a film shoot), and then headed off to a private club called Norwood (click on Norwood to see photos of where we were and read about the club). It was founded by a bunch of musicians/London-ites who had had enough of the SoHo House being so crowded, and they invited some media folks to become members. One of my co-workers being just one of those folks. It was awesome, very quiet and we sat outside in back while paper lanterns danced in the heat above us (reminded me how much I want to open a SoHo-like House out west). From there we walked two blocks over to the Meat Packing District planning to head to… the Hotel Ganesvoort (recommended by Billy, the door man at Norwood). Of course there was a line outside so we didn’t ever make it in, but I was able to look up and see that the room I stayed in last time. It had occupants, or at least someone had left the light on–maybe I did. We crossed the street and decided to hop into the SoHo House to celebrate the week, and our press announcement (announcing 8 new partners and an accumulated additional 55MM users!). Then we got stuck on the train on the way back uptown–police activity they said.

Then meetings the next day and we rushed off to JFK to board our flight home which sat us on the runway for 2 hours and dropped us down in SF at 2am. My gracious boss carried my luggage around and held Esme while I dashed to the restroom–I doubt he knew what he was getting into when he hired me.

Huge thanks to Elizabeth and Mimi!!! Without them I could not have gotten through the week!!!

Friday was back to the office albeit a bit later than usual, and now our Saturday has been filled with a stroller trip to the Farmers Market, reading books, practicing crawling, chewing on toys (Esmé not me), and lunch sitting outside in the sun.

Photos from NYC below…

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